Graspable Extremities Online
The Handlebar Moustache Club
The Handlebar Club News and Events of 2011

“The Very Best”
The Movember charity's 2012 Moustache Calendar

HORSING AROUND: Michael “Atters” Attree in Bathurst Mews near Hyde Park  - click on the picture to enlarge
Michael “Atters” Attree and a four-legged friend in Bathurst Mews Photo: Ricky Chapman

HORSING AROUND: Michael “Atters” Attree, Club member, satirist, writer and performer was photographed in Bathurst Mews near Hyde Park for Ricky Chapman’s “The Very Best”, a 2012 calendar also featuring musician/artist Billy Childish, sporting personalities and other photos of men with moustaches.

Read the article...  ...then get the calendar.

Handlebar Club Pips Pipers Again

Tom Cutler and a swathe of brave lads battle in front of the ‘round black thing’
The Handlebar Club Darts Team in action

TThe fifth of November 2011 was the most jam-packed evening at the Windsor Castle I can remember for ages. This was partly because, it being November, supporters of the popular and successful charity, Movember, were in full-sprout mode, and a swathe of brave lads had consequently arrived at the watering hole, sporting above their kissing tackle what I can only describe – charitably – as jolly good beginners’ efforts in the lip-weasel department.. The other reason was that the Handlebar Club and the Pipe Club of London were due to lock horns upstairs in the restaurant, for their annual darts match.

Tom Cutler

The Gentleman's Instant Genius Guide

Member Tom Cutler
Photo: Leonie Morse

Member and humourist Tom Cutler has a new volume out, called The Gentleman's Instant Genius Guide. Tom proves that following the path to becoming disgustingly rich, stylish, intelligent, thin, happy, classy, successful and a legend in the bedroom need take no longer than it does to cut your toenails, or listen to The Archers. You can learn how to become as popular as your dog, which sports car suits your personality, and how to work out the date of your death. With Tom Cutler's help you will soon find inner perfection and hugely impress your family, friends and colleagues. From the author of the brilliant Gentleman's Bedside Book, this is a hilariously funny but deeply practical guide to self-improvement.

Tom recently appeared on Radio 4's Loose Ends to give it a good plug and you can hear Arthur Smith's interview with Tom here:

Powered by XSPF Player

Click on the small triangular play button
in the player above to start.
(Requires Adobe Flash, duration 7m16s;
file is approx 3Mb)

If that whets your appetite, here's a link to Tom's book on, where you can show handlebarly solidarity and save money on the retail price at one and the same time: The Gentleman's Instant Genius Guide

Handlebar Club member with a Hollywood star...

Click here for the whole picture

When Anthony met Anne...
Anthony: "Anne, have you seen what I've got in my hand?"
Click on the picture and scroll down past Anne on the bus to see what it is.

Steve Parsons

A Rose Among Thorns?

As you can see Bryony Hamblin was very excited
Bryony Hamblin was very excited

As you can see Bryony Hamblin was very excited to make her first visit to a First Friday meeting at the Windsor Castle. Bryony and her fellow film students from South Wales are currently making a documentary about the Handlebar Club. They recently attended our AGM in York - driving from the Rhondda Valley to York, and back, in one day!

This visit to London was also a day trip; that's what I call commitment.

Steve Parsons

Harriet's Marathon Effort for Charity

Harriet in training for the Paris Marathon
Harriet in training for the Paris Marathon

Over the last few years the Children’s Liver Disease Foundation is a charity that has become very close to our hearts here at the Handlebar Club. Now Handlebar Club Friend (and the Secretary’s cousin) Harriet Maas is running her first Marathon in Paris, France this weekend to raise money for this important cause.


Harriet completed the Paris Marathon in a time of 3 hours: 50 minutes: 56 seconds and has raised over £1200 so far for the Children's Liver Disease Foundation. As a baby, Harriet was diagnosed with the rare and life threatening liver disease, Alpha 1 Antitrypsin Deficiency, in which the body does not make enough protein to protect the lungs and the liver from damage.

“For some babies this can be fatal and others are left with lifelong disabilities,” says Harriet. “I am keenly aware that I am one of the lucky ones. Although I had to be resuscitated twice as a baby, I now live a full and healthy life – I just require annual check-ups. Many families are not so lucky however, and CLDF not only helps them to deal with the difficulties presented by childhood liver disease but helps fund vital research into its cause, so it's a very important charity to me.”

You can still help Harriet exceed her target by visiting

For more information on CLDF visit

Steve Parsons

moustacheKeith Jefferson

Keith Jefferson at WBMC 2009

I'm sad to announce the death of Club Member Keith Jefferson from Cumbria, who has died suddenly.

Keith only joined the Handlebar Club in January 2009 but quickly became an active member attending our AGM weekends and notching up a notable success at the World Beard and Moustache Championships in Anchorage Alaska, where he achieved second place in the Natural Moustache category.

In his home town of Carlisle, Keith was also well known as the proprietor of Pink Panther Records which became a local institution mostly due to Keith’s musical passion and knowledge.

Keith’s funeral service took place on Thursday 14th April at Carlisle Cemetery Chapel at 11am, followed by interment in the cemetery.

Our condolences go to Keith’s widow Sheila and their two sons, Craig and Steven.

Steve Parsons

The Club Christmas Lunch - Jolly Christmassy with turkey and all that

Paul and Sarah Lewis at Shelley's in Lewes
Paul and Sarah Lewis at Shelley's in Lewes

Dear Old Atters arranged this year’s Christmas lunch at the delightful Shelley’s Hotel in Lewes, East Sussex. He was one of the last to arrive accompanied by the lovely Louise, squeezing into the hotel’s bijou bar, where serious inroads into the Harvey’s bitter, which was in tip-top condition, had already been made.

There was a delightfully varied crowd present this year, and the grub was jolly Christmassy, with turkey and all that. In a thrilling new festive development Steve announced that...


13 year old applies for membership

The 'parents' of 13 year old Johnny recently visited the Windsor Castle pub in Crawford St. and were inspired to get in touch with the Handlebar Club to see whether he could join as a member - so what do YOU think? Click on the Handlebar Moustache above to see Johnny's picture. By the way, there is actually a 'Bushy' precedent for this...

Steve Parsons

TashAlaska premières October 19th in London

TashAlaska - The Movie
TashAlaska - Click picture for more info

A documentary about the world of competitive facial hair - TashAlaska premières on Wednesday 19th October from 7:30pm at the Portobello Pop Up Cinema in London. The movie follows competitors in Brighton, Norway and Alaska; Handlebar Club members and those from The British Beard Club appear in the film. Click on the TashAlaska logo for more information.

Steve Parsons

Trains and Boats and Planes, and Trams, a Rickshaw and Quite a Lot of Walking

Five go to Sweden, Norway and Hungary - click for the report
Five go to Sweden, Norway and Hungary

Andy Lear returns! He reports on a group trip of multiple modes of transport taking in a Swedish Brewery, the World Beard and Moustache Championships in Trondheim, Norway and on to southern Hungary, 130 kilometres south-east of Budapest, to compete in their Moustache Festival.

Andy Lear

WBMC 2011 Trondheim - Tom Cutler Reports

Some of the Handlebar Club members in the Norwegian National Day Parade
Handlebar Club members
in the Norwegian National Day Parade

Tom Cutler reports on the recent World Beard and Moustache Championships held in the beautiful Norwegian city of Trondheim, where a magnificent cross-mingling of personalities, setose, pilose, styled, pearl-encrusted, and otherwise be-haired, met for a wonderfully friendly three-day knees-up.

Tom Cutler

Scottish Veterans Association accepts HBC donation

SVA Chairman John Richardson accepts the cheque
John Richardson accepts the cheque from Alex McBride

The Handlebar Club has donated £100 to The Scottish Veterans Association to assist the SVA with its activities. The Handlebar Club's Treasurer Alex McBride with his wife Ann, attended the Gulf Remembrance Luncheon on 19 March 2011, and Alex is seen here handing over the cheque to SVA Chairman John Richardson.

Steve Parsons

Any Other Business and the Giant Nan

Tandoori Knights and Maidens
Tandoori Knights and Maidens

On Friday 1 April 2011 Handlebar Club members, their partners and friends of the club arrived at the Hedley House Hotel in York for the AGM jamboree. Tom Cutler our newly-elected Scribe, reports on the weekend's events, including this colourful degustation, with pictures from himself and Dan Sederowsky.

David reaches his limit on live TV

All round good sport David Tomlinson
David Tomlinson - all round good sport

We get lots of strange phone calls at the Handlebar Club - but even we were surprised to be asked to audition for the 'Spice Girls'. Of course the fact that the nation is currently gearing up for Comic Relief night should have given us a clue. Unfortunately we didn't have a lot of notice so the only brave soul that made it to the One Show studio on the night was part time Emma Bunton impersonator and all round good sport David Tomlinson.

David spent the afternoon dressing up in a pink T-shirt and matching mini skirt, shaving his legs and rehearsing his big number.
“I don't think I made the most convincing Baby Spice ever” said David later, “Notwithstanding the 'do something funny' tagline, this was as about as far as I would be willing to go on National TV.” he added.

Well we think that you're a star David and we love that wig.

If you'd like to show your appreciation of David's efforts then please make a donation at

Steve Parsons

Sam - our next Secretary?

Sam Luff aspires to one day be Secretary of the Handlebar Club
Sam Luff aspires to be Secretary of the Handlebar Club

Incumbent Handlebar Club Secretary Steve Parsons has received this photo-nomination for a forthcoming election of Club Secretary. Steve was told by Sam Luff (above) that he aspires to one day be Secretary of the Club, and his parents promptly put Sam in the picture.

Members lend whiskery support to Mo-growing volunteers - update!

The Handlebar Club Movember Moments
The Handlebar Club Movember Moments

On Thursday 20th October, Steve Parsons and Rod Littlewood attended the official launch of Movember in Shoreditch

“We were particularly impressed with the Spitfire Bitter bottles sporting special labels with a handlebar - completely in keeping with our own image let alone Movember.”


Raising the bar for Movember!

Some familiar faces caught by the camera at November/Movember's First Friday.
Familiar Faces at First Friday Photo © Times Newspapers

First Friday in November and some familiar Handlebar Club members were whiskered away from propping up the bar at the Windsor Castle pub in Crawford St., Marylebone, London to pose for the camera of... well, if you're a Times subscriber, you can read the original article here.

Matt and Jonathan add a dapper touch

Watch out for Matt and Jonathan's faces landing on your doorstep
Matt and Jonathan's faces may land on your doorstep

On Thursday 14th April Handlebar Club members Jonathan M Halbert and Matt Raine aka Mr Natty added a dapper touch to a photoshoot for the Charles Tyrwhitt Autumn/ Winter 2011 new Suits range.

The shoot took place on the streets of old Spitalfields, East London. Mr Natty describes the scene.

Matt Raine

A Delightful Weekend in Stuttgart, Germany
at IBMC 2011

Jonathan Halbert and Ted Sedman
Jonathan Halbert and Ted Sedman
at der Filderhalle

This event was held on the 19th March 2011 at der Filderhalle, in Leinfelden-Echterdingen, near Stuttgart, and was attended by six Handlebar Club Members. Jonathan Halbert reports on his and the Club's successful weekend.

Jonathan Halbert

A Whisky Taste Test

The four 'gentlemen' - Noel, Steve, David, and Nicholas. Click the image for the full advertisment.
The four 'gentlemen':
Noel, Steve, David, and Nicholas.
Click the image for the full advertisment.

Members of the Handlebar Club endorsing a Malt Whisky? Well, it makes sense doesn't it. When the manufacturers of Singleton© Single Malt Whisky wanted to run a series of advertisments featuring a number of eccentric clubs they didn't have to look much further than the Windsor Castle Pub and a well-attended First Friday meeting.

Sending along a representative for a casting session they scoured the pub for appropriately stunning models... having failed to find any they settled on the four 'gentlemen' pictured. You can click the picture above to see the full-page advertisment.

Noel, David, Nicholas and myself were invited along to a 'pop-up' club in Soho Square for a photoshoot, appropriately enough in the bar. After being encouraged to sample and approve the peaty nectar, we enjoyed our first (and no doubt last) experience of modelling. We were sent away with a bottle each and in return for our participation in the campaign, the manufacturers Diageo made a generous £800 donation to Positive Futures - a charity “helping young people from deprived communities steer clear of crime, drug and alcohol misuse and move forward in their lives.”

Steve Parsons

Another Member in the Media

William and his customer both cut a dash. Click the image for the full advertisment.
William and his customer both cut a dash.
Click the image for the full advertisment.

Another Member of the Handlebar Club has been chosen for a media appearances. William Brown is seen here masquerading as a typical Jermyn Street barber, while a delighful manicurist attends to the graspable extremities of a smart young man. Although he's in a very expensive suit from House of Fraser, he doesn't seem to mind that William hasn't offered him a cape, and his suit is getting covered with hair clippings!

moustacheAndy Nelson

Andy Nelson

Unfortunately it's my sad duty to let you know that Handlebar Club Friend Andy Nelson died peacefully in his sleep in the early hours of Thursday 28th July after a long illness.

Those of you who attended the Edinburgh AGM in 2009 will remember Andy and Leanne from that event. Andy also suggested the AGM venue and trip to Buckler's Hard for the annual get-together in 2010.

At Andy's suggestion The Handlebar Club have recently supported The Fountain Centre, an independent charity based in the St Luke's Cancer Centre at Royal Surrey County Hospital, Guildford that supports people living with cancer.

The Celebration of Andy's Life took place at 1pm on Friday 12th August at Guildford Crematorium, New Pond Road, Godalming, GU7 3DB.

Steve Parsons